Most women want things to always be in order. They love fixing and improving the people around them. This is one trait of the women which men hate the most.
Men see women as the nagger. When things go well for them, they blame the women for overthinking; but when things go wrong, they always expect women to forgive them. When women tell them, “I told you so” they will get pissed off, and in the end, it is still the women’s fault.
When in a relationship, you cannot just let your man bear the consequences of his actions. He will not suffer the consequences himself as an individual because you are a couple, especially when it comes to health issues.
My sister recently died of lung cancer. Her husband was a smoker, and it was my sister who suffered in the end because of the second-hand smoke she inhaled.
Research shows that good relationships help people live longer, deal with stress better, have healthier habits, and have stronger resistance to colds. — Robyn E. Brickel, M.A., LMFT
Smoking Thwarted Their Relationship
Smoking affects every relationship in many ways. During the eulogy, her husband shared how his smoking affected their relationship not just as a couple but as a family.
He has been a smoker even before they got married, and it took them seven years before they had their first baby. They did undergo various tests. The doctor found out that the culprit was his smoking, making his sperm unhealthy. He even admitted that he had less sexual endurance in that he had to take breaks which were very frustrating on both their parts, leaving them unsatisfied most of the time. He had to stop smoking for years and followed the doctor’s advice to be healthy in order to make my sister pregnant.
It was not long when my sister gave birth to her second daughter that her husband went back again to his bad smoking habit. His reason – he got stressed after getting laid off from his job.
Many are still not aware of the danger brought by second-hand smoke. Second-hand smoke is a combination of two types of smoke that comes from burning tobacco. In my sister’s case, she inhaled the smoke exhaled by his husband (mainstream smoke) and the smoke from the lighted end of his cigarette (sidestream smoke).
Though both put my sister’s life at risk for having lung cancer, the doctor explained that the sidestream smoke is more deadly than mainstream smoke because it has the higher concentration of toxic materials that cause cancer. It actually has smaller particles that can easily make their way to the lungs and body’s cells.
Currently, most efforts to prevent or control smoking at the federal and state levels are based on the strategies recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO) in Framework Convention on Tobacco Control (FCTC, 2003), including raising taxes on tobacco products, limiting smoking in public, requiring new health warnings on cigarette packages, and regulating the firms’ manufacturing and marketing efforts. — Key Sun Ph.D.
Nonsmokers Are Not Exempted From Having Lung Cancer
My sister has never dared to smoke all her life, but she did not escape from having lung cancer. Worst, it was even the cause of her early death.
My nieces used to have asthma when they were younger, and they were often sick. When they moved to a boarding school when they were in college, their health got better. We thought it was the environment, the fresh air, and they were starting to be health-conscious. It never came to our mind that it might be that they were no longer exposed to their father’s smoking that their body was able to recover.
It was just now that we, their father especially, realized that his smoking was what had caused those health issues in their family.
It is not fair that my sister bore the consequences of things she had been trying very hard to prevent. His husband’s smoking habit took her life, and it was too late. The sorry and all the tears can never bring her back. No one knows what other damages smoking has done to her daughter’s health as well. They are still young, and it may not manifest yet, but the doctor said it might manifest when they are older.
Identifying the behavioral triggers and associations around smoking cigarettes, including the people in your life and your regular activities, is a critical component of a successful quit attempt. — Marni Amsellem, PhD
If you know of someone – your mother, father, sibling, or friends – who has been smoking, encourage them to quit. If they ask for the reason, ask them, “Is not the love for the people around them enough? Is their health not that important?” Tell them not to wait before it’s too late.